I just went on a first date (really relaxed, almost more of a hangout) and I really like the guy. I was disappointed when he didn’t make a move at the end of it, and then I realized (with help from an ex) that I might not have been forward enough, because I’m pretty shy when it comes to relationship stuff. It’s possible he didn’t feel my interest at all. I really want to try and salvage this, but don’t know how. Any advice? - anon
Ok, let me first give my standard disclaimer when it comes to relationship advice: I have never dated. I do not have personal experience with any of this stuff. But I have watched a lot of other people do stupid things in their relationships, and I can offer an opinion about these things.
Sorry for the slow response. I couldn’t really think of a great answer for you.
The biggest thing that surprised me about med school was that it was HARD. That sounds like a cop-out answer, but no amount of warning can prepare you for how hard it actually is. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Another thing that surprised me was that there were people in school with me who clearly had no interest in patient care (or ever interacting with other human beings ever) almost from the get-go. These people started out med school with cynicism, and it just got worse and worse as they went on. It doesn’t make much sense to me. Why go into a frustrating job like medicine where you’re forced to deal with hard to deal with people on a daily basis if you clearly have no patience for it?
Things I wish had developed earlier:
Things I’m glad I had:
I get a lot of questions in my ask box about how a high schooler can pursue his or her interest in medicine. Finally, after hours of pondering, I have completed this how-to guide for high school pre-medders.
- First of all, slooooooooooooow down. You are still in high school. This should be a time of fun and exploration (and I don’t mean of the sexual and chemical kind).
I’ve gotten quite a few messages in my inbox requesting private answers to questions that boil down to something like the one below. The specific numbers don’t matter that much for the purposes of answering the question.
23. I have excellent extracurriculars, but my grades are so-so and my MCAT isn’t great. Do I have a chance?
In case I haven’t conveyed it effectively in the past, let me take a moment to reiterate…
MED SCHOOL IS HARD.
Extracurriculars are great, but they are extras. Icing on the cake. Yes, you need them (to have a desirable cake), but they are not the basis of your application to medical school (otherwise you’d be all icing and you’d give someone diabetes…). Extracurriculars can help give a boost to mediocre numbers (like rich chocolate icing on a dry boxed yellow cake), but they can’t really stand on their own.
The goal is not to GET IN to medical school. The goal is to GRADUATE from medical school. Amirite? If you hope to get through, you need a solid foundation to build upon.
Now y’all know I hate talking numbers, but the truth is that they DO matter. I’m not here to set minimum standards for medical school applications — most med schools have already done that — I’m just sayin, be realistic. Check out the schools you’re applying to. Your scores need to be at or above their average if you want a good chance of getting in there. Yes, people with lower scores get in, but don’t hope to be the exception. Try to be the rule.
If you are in such a situation, what can you do to improve your numbers?
1. Don’t get complacent. If your study method wasn’t working the best last year, change it! Second year is harder, duh.
2. In that same vein, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
3. Enjoy the occasional bits of humor hidden in Robbins and Cotran Pathology. ( I did Path first year, but it’s my understanding that most traditional schools do it second year).
4. Take a first year under your wing and help them get through. Give them your notes, call them occasionally, take them out for coffee. If your school doesn’t have an official big sib/little sib program, start one.
A new academic year is beginning, which means there is a whole new crop of thousands of first years who are, at any given moment, this close to peeing themselves out of excitement or utter fear. So to calm your worries, I’ve compiled a little advice column. Here goes:
1. Don’t look at the cadaver’s face on the first day of dissection. Save that emotional challenge for a week or two in.
2. Take the amount of time you think you’ll need to study and double it. Seriously.
3. Yes, you really do have to know that minute detail about the alpha subunit of the cholera toxin molecule (there’s a reason why I still remember it. Hello first day of medical school… ah the memories).
4. Don’t pull all-nighters. If you don’t know it by 10pm, you won’t know it at 3am.
Sounds like common sense, but a lot of people fail on this. Your patients can’t follow your advice if they never heard it to begin with.