Wayfaring MD

I am a family medicine resident who likes to highlight the hilarious in medicine as I write about patients, medical school, residency, medical missions, and whatever else strikes my fancy.



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HIPAA is for reals, folks. All of my "patient stories" have been changed to protect patient privacy. I will change any or all identifiers, including age, location, race/ethnicity, sex, medical history, and quotes.
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Last week I wrote about finding purpose in life, and I mentioned that I am human and that I do have bad days occasionally, and I promised to elaborate later. Well now it’s later and here I am elaborating. 

Let me start by saying

.

Everyone is insecure about something. We compare ourselves to other people and put ourselves down. We all handle this insecurity in different ways. Some people go with the “fake it till you make it” system, while others become perfectionists or gunners to try to overcome their insecurities. Then there are those who cave under the weight of their fears and become anxiety-ridden messes, and those who repress and hold in all those emotions until they suddenly run out uncontrollably like overflow diarrhea in a fecal impaction (that’s right, I went there with the poop metaphor). 

So which type am I? According to my closest friends and my counselor, I’m the poop type. But I’m learning to be more regular (pun intended) about showing my emotions/frustration/insecurities. 

Anypoo, 

recently I wrote an e-mail to a friend that contained the following:

Ugh, being a doctor is hard. I’m having a low confidence day today. The other intern at clinic with me is a freakin hoss. He has got this doctoring thing down. He’s calm under pressure, smart, and even worse, he’s a super nice guy who is good with his patients. My friend assures me he’s a freak of nature and he’s exceptionally good for an intern, but I don’t like it. I want to be the freak of nature. Patients and other residents like me because I’m a nice person. And that’s nice and all and I’m flattered, but I’d like to also be known as the one who knows what she’s doing

That’s right. I admit it. I’m worried I wont be a good enough doctor. But guess what? Most everyone worries about this. The ones who don’t worry and think they’ve got it down are the ones who are really in trouble.

But my (very wise) friend reminded me that when I get insecure and compare myself to others, I’ve got the focus on the wrong person. It’s not about my skills or hoss intern’s skills. She said: 

You are a child of Christ. Your identity is found in Him. And that automatically gives you worth. There is no esteem to be found in the self. There is esteem to be found in Jesus.

Even with superstar intern around the corner. 

So yeah, occasionally I post things like this or this to boost my confidence a little, but ultimately my confidence and my purpose come from Him. 

  1. efxaristo reblogged this from wayfaringmd and added:
    Just what I needed to hear today, especially the ending. Funny how that works :)
  2. themedicalchronicles said: I think you’ll make an absolutely SUPERB doc :D
  3. mrspediatricpa said: everyone has bad days, but your friend definitely gave some great advice. I hope you have 100 more good days before another bad day :)
  4. cranquis said: 1) GREAT post, and I identify with those insecurities — I almost quit intern year at least 3 times b/c of feeling inadequate compared to others. 2) POO PUNS!!!
  5. crafting-alchemist reblogged this from wayfaringmd and added:
    Yeah, this happens to me all the time. I’m just a second year med student (of 7 years) and I am always worrying if I’m...
  6. thelearningcurves said: Love this. Thank you for sharing.
  7. determined4medschool said: I’m inspired by your honesty! We all have our moments, but I think realization is the first step to helping yourself. =)
  8. co-h reblogged this from wayfaringmd
  9. aseaofshells said: My problem is centered around comparing myself to others. If anyone is better in any way than me I immediately feel inadequate and want to give up completely. I just break.
  10. aseaofshells reblogged this from wayfaringmd
  11. md-admissions said: Hugs! Your honesty about bad days and how you work through them are inspiring. :)
  12. wayfaringmd posted this